Tuesday, July 23, 2013

What makes you happy?

If you could circumvent the idea of needing someone, would you be happier?

The song Zinda, from Lootera, is quite the personification of this thought. Zinda hoon yaar, kaafi hai.
Isn't it enough? To be one of the lucky few who live to tell the tale? Survive heat waves and deluges and landslides and freak electrocutions. Be able to survive and trust your heart to beat enough beats, and be strong enough, so you can concentrate on things that might make you happier for a little while.

'Après moi, le déluge. After me comes the flood.' Regina Spektor did say it well though. 'I'm not my own, it's not my choice.'
So we all live like that, with a little bit of the devil may care attitude, I'm gonna do that which pleases me, let the flood come when I'm gone. 

Which, tries really hard to go back to the idea, that is needing someone a naive idea that ensures survival, or maybe even a way to spend time in a lucrative fashion with?
I'm not contesting the idea of evolution and why one would need a partner, its just that, the search seems like such a futile endeavour. Where do you begin? How do you know you've reached the end? 
I keep thinking of the post I wrote on Waiting. Derived from the book called Waiting by Ha Jin, and how I talked about how we're always waiting for something. Waiting for Godot, after all.  

So how do you know when you've reached the end? The end of your wait? Maybe you will never. How will you? 

I have a theory, that a person can love only a limited amount. So a serial dater, would have less and less of her heart to give out to her newest beau. People do find someone after years and years, and spend their lives happily, but I think something of that rush and excitement and madness would've gone, and the urge to settle perhaps would've crept in. 

But how do you find someone in one go? WHERE do you find someone in one go? Discovering a soul mate is nearly as ridiculous in believing in past lives, although, I did buy Dr. Brian Weiss's spiel for sometime. But even in Before Sunset, or even Before Sunrise, Jesse raises the question that there are supposed to a limited number of souls right? So how is our population growing?
If that means we have fragmented souls and smaller and smaller pieces of originality, would you then attribute it to the multiple marriages and rising divorce rates? 

And if that is a ridiculous statement, then that points to the fact that souls do not exist. 

Ship of Theseus, a brilliant film in what it discusses with the audience and enlightens and questions the integrity of your soul, also picks the question of karma, karmic retribution, and faith.
If what you believe in, is the truth, then the truth is subjective, and so is the interpretation of every lie and every evil. This is perhaps the stem of organised religion. Which religion would you pick? Is that even an option? 
The overreaching arc that covers all the points that I have gone through, is that a person, i.e. we, are extremely selfish. It's not a revelation, just to acknowledge and live by. All that we do, is for ourselves, meant to save our souls in some way.

If you were to receive a stolen kidney, would you really give it back? If it went against your beliefs, would you still take medicines tested on animals if your life depended on it? If you were more comfortable and honest being blind, did society and the idea of being complete force you into new eyes?

So, finding someone is also a part of that selfish urge, to determine a validity of your existence, to see yourself appreciated in someone else's eyes, and to be able to see that in their eyes too.

But, even then, in the end, there remains a question. If your ownership in this world, you acknowledge as nothing, and, maybe not build a life of an ascetic, but remove yourself from the circle of possession. If you could circumvent the idea of needing someone, move beyond attachments. Would you be happier?